Poet's Pit

Strangers or Estranged? The question in her head Casual and Mature! Cruel words he had said How quickly could he move on from her strong face? Spiralling out of life, how could she still be in haze? Charcoal grey was her favourite colour  right after his storm Took her half a decade to fix the leaky roof and feel somewhat warm The terrorizer redeemed, a loving friend and more While she was boiled down, left to only be a whore  How should she hide the scars and the screams? How many nights until again she finally dreams? I keep telling her, she's definitely better off alone She keeps asking me to buy her another wishbone! Broken by mere words  and no actions of a man She couldn't even remember all the ways she'd ran Sitting besides her all night, I ask her to pandon Not him, not them but herself under all burden She begs me teary eyes every night to end her petty story Every night she cries and wails for mercy of erasing history 2 AM and we stay the same, awake and miserab...

The walls around me are still standing tall Concrete and cement, never to face a fall They guard the self within, lonely & scared Try and get past them, only a few have dared I keep adding the walls to protect the soul As the flesh is far gone with the fate's toll The little light in my inner sanctum flickers Winds are escaping as the chandelier shivers Stop the wind & bind it in these four walls Bound soul, the wind and the light crawls They crawl the palace walls to see sunrise Pull them inside, lock them in and palaryze "Outside's bad, inside's good" I screamed Locked in every freedom I ever dreamed Selfish and hopeless, at the same time My solitude is my virtue and my worst crime I keep building the walls taller and taller While begging someone to break this cellar I'm trapped in the safety net of my own self Hoping someone breaks my walls of hell Princess in the tall tower built by her own Dragon she trained herself with a dark frown Oh, dear prin...

Oh night, are your tired eyes resting still? Or are you leaning over the window sill? Waiting for someone to nudge you deep Wanting to fall over into an endless sleep Dreading for comfort that left you again Trying to escape past few centuries' pain Oh night, are your tired eyes resting still? Or do you remember all the ones you kill? Blood on your body giving you weird calm Deciding next target for the shivering palm Robbing someone's dreams for the night Running away carrying their flickering light Oh night, are your tired eyes resting still? Or they nominating and writing last will? Hoping the final rest to engulf any time Struggling to swing down very last dime Walking the night to find the final "rest" Perhaps for last time leaving your nest

  Flashy lights and smoke encircling What a great life, oh so enchanting Cups overflowing with liquor of riches Clicking bottles, screaming bitches I walked with them and fake laughed Dragged my first puff and I coughed Settling for the cheapest beverage I listened how my life's just average The constant, nagging need to fit in Has already broken me from within Everything's fun and games on crack Until my inner demons scream back I avoid the entrapments to avoid me My vulnerability is not for world to see I'll drink fancy liquors slow and dull Pretending my glass is always full

Days run into nights and I lay here Clothed body with my naked soul Still watching your surprised stare Stuck in our memories, what a fool Writing poetry every other night Pouring my heart on blank sheets Searing words, sharp and bright Drawing a broken heart's beats My girls now tired of delusional stories Reading a new poetic mess each day But I can't stop writing our glories About charm and, your mannered way Running out of new words now Yet staining papers, spilling ink Ending teary eyes everyday, how? Asking myself if you ever think Feeling childish and futile emotions They warned me, "Don't you fall!" But I ignored all their red cautions Now I stay awake, waiting for a call "You deserve better," she reinforced Screaming I said, "But he is the one" Lover's delusions left her concerned How can I convey, I love him a tonne? I beg the moon and all the shiny stars Bring back the night he was but mine Skies reply, "Dear, he was never y...

  Summer nights, winds weird and quiet  Should've known our time just wasn't right Just couldn't see you leaving peacefully  Wish I could've let you go on more gracefully Scream yes or say you don't feel the same Don't want to play this cruel lovers' game You can walk away just because I'm a mess But forgive my impatience with your calmness Promise I'll play and follow your every rule I'll play the one who needs to act the fool Of course, I'll wait here for you forevermore  And I'll never dare to shut my heart's door Hearing your footsteps I'll again let you in This is a lovers' game, I'll always let you win Some rules might break as I mend broken fate It's okay if you can't love me, just never hate Written on 10/03/2024

  Our song started playing on the speaker As I laid there naked in bed of a stranger Your words playing in mind with the music "You're only made for casual flings, chick" I took you literally, bent my mind quickly Now in a hostile bed, looking half sparkly Mended my wings broken by your wind Now flying high in my sky, paying no heed But when "Perfect" played as I moaned I realized, I ain't this, what you'd groaned Your words brought me to a stranger's room Dewy lights, losing myself, oh, perpetual doom Panting on his shoulder, I wiped your memory I cried out loud as you've made me temporary It wasn't my nature to just casually hook up I was simple enough to care when I stayed up You turned me from shiny glass to rough sands Blood of my innocence still fresh on your hands

  I am dancing alone in the middle of the room Invisible to your eyes, growing out of bloom All the spotlight's on me, darkness all around Invisible much? My feet moving on cold ground I keep dancing all night only for you like a doll For your perpetual ignorant bliss, I took a toll I scream and cry and dance for your attention You keep gazing away, questioning my intention I keep choosing you but you always choose them Attraction and power play; Love is but a game! I have always been a spare, it feels like ages now trapped forever in your ballroom, I ask myself how? 'Coz I keep dancing with hope, even in ignorance I keep on forgiving; questioning my own tolerance Now my feet bleed, hands drop and eyes weep my head spins like a wheel and I am falling deep I hope you at least remember in memory flashes my unconditional dancing here, as I fly in ashes?

Now when I stitch my own wounds, I realize how deep I’ve cut you When I hear my own screaming sounds, I get what you went through   When I met you again, and when our palms, bodies, and lips touched again My body convoluted at each contact and my mind rushed with pain   I wanted to cry in your arms and let it all out, let my heart melt My heart wanted to scream, what it went through, how it felt   But there I was, present only with my exterior self, hollow and void I shut my heart off with a switch and only let our bodies collide   You were right, he was right, I am a stable person with a heart of stone My soul is empty, my heart missing; I am not love but only flesh and bone   I will keep my guard up if we meet again and flow into the passion I can’t be a wife, a love, or a home to you when I am but a shattered mansion

September Seventeen and we were celebrating Chuckling together, and barefoot dancing We were drifted so far away But we promised there to stay Humming together the same song Now I wonder what went wrong? I tore all the letters written for you My dreams shattered & nightmares came true How can something so beautiful turn so ugly? Why could I never be yours truly? September Seventeen and it was your Birthday My wishes, our song and the sweet Play I fell in love with the boy in the white shirt Never knew it would turn back and hurt And it is September Seventeen again I've moved on but there is still the pain But I feel safe to know you are far Can't deal again with the emotional war So Happy Birthday to my Long-lost Lover I'm so glad our trouble is almost Over!

There are thunderstorms out my window Can you hear them or is it just hollow? I can see the lightening and hear the storm My world's become cold; is your's still warm? My heart sinks at every sound, every light Can you feel it or is it still sunny and bright? The winds are shattering my window glasses I can see the sharp, shining, falling pieces 3 AM and the chase of light and darkness Every light brings the noise that makes me breathless I try not to connect this storm to you And yet here I am asking only you! 'Cause you never see the storms on my door When I tell you, you just leave me crying on floor And so every storm brings your presence And every song sings with your essense

 I walked on the track with you The air was cold But somethin' 'bout it felt like own somehow And I, left my scarf there at Civil class And you've still got it on your table even now Oh, your sweet disposition And my wide-eyed gaze We're acting in the play, getting lost backstage Tamarind leaves falling down like pieces into place And I can picture it after all these days And I know it's long gone, and that magic's not here no more And I might be okay, but I'm not fine at all 'Cause there we are again on that little college street You almost fell face first 'cause you were looking over me Wind in my hair, I was there I remember it all too well Photo album in your phone Your cheeks were turning red You used to be a little kid with glasses in a soldier costume And you are telling stories 'bout your mother and team You told me 'bout your fam thinking your future was me And you were tossing me the career keys "Fuck the Patriarchy" keych...

I was listening to "Back to December" And guess who did I remember  It was you in all your glory It was us and our love story I remembered how I broke your heart So cruel with piercing hard dart We cried all night, December Twenty I could have tried more and done plenty But I am so selfish and so cruel And I always end everything like a fool I am not as brave in love as Juliet Can't run and let go of the brilliant  I was too proud to let my guard down And wait for you to come to my town But today I listened to "Back to December" And you are the only face I remember  I have fallen for stupid reasons  Followed boys for all four seasons  But the love that we always shared Never came back to me to be spared Had you not hurt me just enough? Didn't I just hurt you so rough? Why do your eyes still shine like that Every time you look at me when we chat I am not at all good for you and me I am so bad and it just kills me Don't look at me like we'll ever fix I...

  Clinging onto the life with weak threads Watching the darkness that everywhere spreads How far can I survive with threads like these? Scared to breathe and afraid of underlying seas Seas that are deep and wild and horribly angry Thousands of lives they eat and still hungry And the threads in my hands are breaking quickly  My struggle is making the waves smile meekly  They are ready to engulf my body and soul  Touching eagerly to take in the whole How far should I try to survive? How long should I even thrive? The winds are dangling my fragile frame And I am trying to stick with no shame How far should I stick here though? Waiting for the threads to all go? One big thunder will strike suddenly And I'll fall in the sea abruptly I'll drown deep inside struggling for breath Just to hug my oldest friend, the death!

The winter she was waiting for never came... She wanted to feel the crisps and shivers it would bring and the feeling of cold and calm She always imagined how it would sooth her, how the cold breezes would tickle her ears She wanted to shrug and she wanted to cuddle But the winter she was waiting for never came... The heat burning her skin stayed forever and she kept blazing with a hope A hope that someday winter would show up to stop the cruelty of summer She wanted to heal and she wanted to be at peace But the summer never ended and winter never came... Even when the winter never showed up she still wanted to feel it at least once "Here I come to the heaven of winter," she said "burn my body or bury just once and for all" She wanted to escape as she'd waited too long And the winter she was waiting for never came...

The world is bright and joyous and dreamy The lights are shining and everything's holy You see the smiles and sparkles in eyes You want to smile and your face tries You hear the crackers and the laughters You too try to laugh till it shatters You smile, you laugh and you shine You make it look all sweet and fine! In your heart you still feel dark And the ghosts of betrayal still bark You hide the pain and show them your beauty To not let those tears escape is your duty And still somehow a drop tickles down You too lose the patience's crown  You see the darkness beneath the light And again the heart fills with fright What all things can you do now? You need to hide it all, but how? You simply wipe those tears and walk tall You pretend to smile, fooling all That's the life, that's the  truest kind of essence That's how you they see your  shiny presence So you tried, you loved and you lost Walk tall as you have survived at last!

 I'm just scared to breath and live again I truly don't want all the grief and pain The weight of disappointments and fear Makes me question what to hold dear! How come the life collapsed like that? How come it became all sad and flat? Where did I go wrong or was I always? Why am I always mistaken and life pays? I just want to stay here, at the rock bottom Away from the world, lost and forgotten Yet, my heart still shivers and flutters It wants to shed all shadows and covers Why do I still breath and live everyday? Why do I believe Sun may shine someday? Should I just lay or should I move on? After all what is gone is forever gone! The only thing that's not gone is my heart I must therefore, give it a bright, new start!

  She turned around just to see what she had lost And there she stood today at what huge cost? The hand on her back disappeared as she moved ahead Wonder if it would have stayed, if she had stayed? The security of herd strangely went on missing She questioned herself what is she even chasing? The love in love's eyes lost as she dared to look above Was it right to stop her chase for the sake of that love? She lost a few pals at the corner of the future Why losing felt like her one and only nature? Now she felt like losing her sanity and her mind Should she still chase her dreams and grind? She believed she should, as she is already lost Now she has got nothing left just to exhaust She shall look ahead and she shall chase her dreams Or else the sacrifices would just mean wasted streams What is lost is lost now and gone is too far gone Now let's keep the chase till the success's dawn!

As I walked through this darkness Pitch black, cold and complete silence I found the person I've been looking for A friend, a lover, lost somewhere too far! These roads so painful, dim, dull yet scary Gifted me with someone to show my real glory I found my true wind, my true soulmate After all these tough times worth the wait Was he a prince? Was he the hero? Was he there to diminish all my sorrow? Was he a person or just an illusion To show me the charm and dreams and vision? It was 'Me' all this time and travels It was 'Me' at all the lows and levels At the darkest point I met the power And it was my own and everywhere I just needed to look at the soul Not of the prince and not of the whole The soul that belonged to me all the way To shoo away darkness, I was the light, I was the ray!

These eyes are tired Tired of the turmoil you've put them through Tired of the judgemental strangers and crew They've weeped enough over the long lost lover They've cried all night hearing the cursing shower They've seen what you could never soberly imagine The dreams of stars and moons and sun and sunshine But they're tired now and gone too For you've made them fatigued and so  They don't wanna open and seen the world again As they've already been through that chaos and pain They're never gonna get here the peace and dreams of tranquil So let them go and shut forever as the heaves wait for them still